Johnny's Ville

Blog Currently Inactive

2010-08-27T16:41:00.000+12:00

Actually my sad little bitching spot has been dead for sometime, just posting a random post to help it stay online. Will I make a return? Hopefully, if I manage to pull thru my finals.!

Dear Levi Strauss

2010-01-30T02:08:00.002+13:00

Dear Levi Strauss

I love your line of jeans.
they dont make me look like a wannabe rapper with my pants almost dropping off
they are comfy to wear
they protect me from artic breezes of Dunedin
i fell off a motorcycle and you did not tear
i slipped off my skateboard and u did not tear
i slipped on ice and fell on rough tarmac and u still refused to tear
they make me look slim, in a not so skinny way
i have 100 reasons to continue buying jeans from you
as i have 100 reasons to never buy perodua or proton

SO, please do not give me a reason to stop believing you
your prices have shot up the skyline since the last time i bought a pair of your good jeans 2-3 years ago.
they are good jeans
i do not want to stop buying a good line of products
as i have stopped believing in nike because they have resorted to selling shoes worth 20 cents for 300 bucks
feel free to breach the Hugo Boss, Prada, Armani market, but please leave ur layman line of casual jeans as it is.

thank you.

Dear Malaysia, This is Why We Still Suck Balls

2010-01-18T23:37:00.004+13:00

Well, this article is not as offensive as the title sounds, but after 2 months of holidaying here, i just wanted to point out a few things that is still preventing malaysia from ever being a modern and successful country.

1. A decade ago, yes, 10 years ago my eldest brother applied for a MAS (Malaysian Airlines) Student card, known as MAS Grads. At that time, efficient computers and high speed internet were practically non-existent, and applications were made with pen n paper. My brother managed to submit an application to the MAS branch office here in Sibu, and a good 4 weeks later, he got his card.
10 years later.... I went to the MAS office here in Sibu, only to be told to go and download my own application form and print it out myself. Not only must i post all the forms and stuff myself, i found it bewildering that since they already made a webpage for it, why not give the service of accepting applications online? And oh, not only do they not accept visa, mastercard, or any kind of online banking method, they only accept postal orders. MY GOD, i havent used a money order since i was 12 years old.
Jeng Jeng Jeng! guess how long do they need to give me my card? 4 weeks. After 10 years, 10 bloody years of computer and internet advancement, they still need 4 weeks. Fantastic.

2. We all know that Sibu (and some other cities and towns) are likely to experience from mild to serious floods every rainy season annually. They had the whole year to prepare. Yet, they started a irrigation project known as "flood control" a few weeks before the rain starts. I am no engineer, but by the scale of the project, it seems to me it might take at least a few months. And When the rain STARTS, they start lifting road levels. Today u pile up some soil, rocks and sand. Tonight the rain washes half of it back into the drain.
What is this??

3. Satu Malaysia. I just cannot help using a line i've picked up in NZ. "YEAH RIGHT!" We have been fed stuff like this since we were born. I am no big racist, but i can say that by the look of things, it is bluntly impossible. Yes yes, non-malays and non-bumiputeras have less a share of scholarships, subsidies, etc etc. I have learnt to accept that fact a loooong time ago. But that's largely because i was never ill-affected by it in any way, i was lucky to have gotten a scholarship, although the chinese, indians and all the other races held only 30% of the share. I will finish my studies and come back and work as my contract says. What about those who deserved it but never got the chance? Wat about the multi million dollar companies suddenly told they were obligated to give a share of their company to malays and bumis? If u told them "one malaysia", i think they will tell you i want my money back. So Malaysia, i think most of us would agree if u stop focusing on all this unity shit, unless u are willing to provide equal rights to everyone (which i think will never happen). There are bowls to be filled, students to be taught, roads to be fixed, trains and buses to be bought.

4. There was a time when malaysian made cars sucked balls (in fact they still do). The government then decided to aid the local companies by issuing a heavy tax on all imported cars, in hopes of making malaysian cars cheaper and more appealing (but they were never actually cheap). After some years- excuse me, correction, after ALL these years, people are still willing to pay a taxed DOUBLE the price for brands like toyota, mercedes, honda and the like. What does this tell us? Malaysian cars suck. Yes, they suck that bad, that bad until ppl are willing to pay double the price for an imported car. Proton has the "longest" car factory in the world. Only to be called "some factory in a forest producing heaps of trash" by a car critique. Wat about Perodua? Well, i have nothing to say for the perodua, other than that it also suck balls. But that's not their fault, because unbeknown to most of us, Perodua is actually the malaysian version of Daihatsu, a company that produces low budget cars and also lorries. That's why their cars suck, cause they're meant to suck. A british channel showed the show host bashing up a perodua with a sledgehammer and then lighting it up with a stick of dynamite. yes, it's THAT bad. I thought that after years of collecting enourmous amounts of tax money from import cars, the money would continue to fund the local car industry, till they will one day provide us with good malaysian cars worthy of our support. I guess not. If u want our support, give us concept models that look good and feel good. DO NOT give us concept models that look like FUNERAL PARADE CARS (Proton Juara), DO NOT GIVE US 2 different cars that are actually the same, only one made longer and given a different name. (proton "gen 2" and it's longer brother "persona"). The speed limit is 110-120kmh. DO NOT GIVE US cars that starts rattling and vibrating badly at speeds of 90kmh. DO NOT GIVE us cars that are taller than they are wide, and looks like a freaking mailbox.

A very interesting quote

2010-01-13T22:39:00.003+13:00

When religion was strong and science was weak, men mistook magic for medicine, now when science is strong and religion is weak, men mistake medicine for magic.

Syntha-6 update.

2010-01-09T22:48:00.002+13:00

a brief report on my bulking with the syntha-6 supplementation. well, i think i've taken about 800g or syntha-6 in about 2 weeks. seemed to have packed on 500g of muscle. not a very extraordinary number, but i believe my diet here is the main problem. since i'm not cooking for myself, and neither do i want to shock the daylights of my parents by eating 100g of meat every meal, and have 6 meals a day, i suppose all is good. might be a psychological effect from drinking protein shake, but i will continue to go through one or possibly 2 more bottles before heading back to NZ. (and of course, intensive gymming is still ongoing).

IMPORTANT POST - AN ATM's Reverse COde Funtion, A Way to Counter ATM Robberies

2010-01-04T22:54:00.004+13:00

I have just recently been checking up on all my previous forwarded chain mails, and found this title interesting, thus went to have a look.

This is especially for atm robbers who forces you to withdraw money from the atm (meaning, u have yet to key in your pin number). Unless you know what you are doing (special forces perhaps?) you should not resist, however strong or well trained you are. They might be armed, or have accomplices waiting nearby.

Instead, what you should do is key in your pin number in reverse. For example if ur pin is 1234, you should key in 4321. The atm will give you the money u requested, and gives a silent alarm to the police or security. I did some online reseach, some ATMs will dispense the money, and some will have the money stuck halfway out (the ATM "pretends" to have malfunctioned). If you are unsure of this function, ask your bank officers the next time you visit the bank. I bet even some of them are unaware of this.

No many ppl even know the existence of the ATM's security function. It might mean the difference between life and death situations sometimes. Thus, i beg all my readers to pass this on to their friends, and them to their friends.

Because i'm unhappy, i will now talk about food.

2010-01-01T00:29:00.003+13:00

Under certain circumstances, i'm in an unperfect mood (not totally bad mood), thus i will now teach my readers how to make a good burger. (not the original burger, art picture taken from tastymealsathome.com)

You will need:
750g minced beef (you may replace with chicken or pork, but beef works the best)
250g sausage mince
2 big brown onion, sliced into rings or half rings
1 small red onion, finely diced
1tbsp Worcestershire Sauce
2 tbsp tomato sauce
1 cup fresh breadcrumbs
1 egg, beaten
salt and pepper
2 tbsp olive oil (or any cooking oil u desire)
burger buns
lettuce
tomatoes

sauce ingredients:
2 tbsp olive oil (again, replaceable with cooking oils)
1 small red onion finely diced
3 tsp vinegar
1 tbsp brown sugar
1/2 cup tomato sauce
2 tsp Worchestershire sauce
2 tsp light soy sauce

Wash your hands, especially after you've just gone to a toilet.
Combine beef and sausage mince, diced onion, sauces, breadcrumbs and egg into a large bowl, and season with salt and pepper, or u might add flavours of your own. Mix well with hands until smooth and even. Divide into six portions. Dampen your hands and shape the portions into patties of desirable thickness and size. Put patties on a tray, cover or wrap, and leave to marinate for at least 30 minutes (in a fridge if possible).

To make the sauce, heat oil in a pan over medium heat. Fry onion until they turn translucent or start to smell strong (about 5 minutes i suppose). Add the ingredients of the sauce and keep stirring until it comes to a boil. Reduce heat to low and allow to simmer for 3 minutes.

Now, on to the burgers! Preheat a pan or barbeque pan on medium until hot. Add a tablespoon of oil and cook the onion rings, until tender and golden. Remove onions and keep them warm. Brush both sides of a pattie with oil, and fry each side of the pattie for 6-8 minutes until tender and juicy. Arrange your burger as u desire, top up with cheese to make a cheeseburger. Top up with the bbq sauce u prepared.

There u have it. A burger kills stress like a ninja. I bloody need one.

Adventures of a Hard Gainer

2009-12-31T01:03:00.003+13:00

As a kid, i was pretty fleshy, but as i entered primary school, my bad picky eating habits began to develop along with my river of ego. That, plus vertical growth, made me thinner and thinner. when things proceeded till form 4, things started to get really out of hand, when my raging hormones decided to take vertical growth to a whole new level, propelling me up to a height of 176cm and on the rise (currently i am about 179+). at that height, i was still in the midst of 48-49 kgs. after Secondary School ended, i decided to do something about it, eating lots of meat everyday, and went swimming regularly and lifting dumbells of which i had borrowed from my uncle. My mother encouraged me by providing a supply of Appeton weight gain. Then, i did not realize, my methods were incorrect, without professional advice from a trainer, or any research from the internet, my attempts proved ineffective. Managing to propel my weight up to about 50+. (on a side note, reviews of "Appetton weight gain" are mostly negative reviews, saying that it is ineffective and a waste of money)

As most of my weight sessions only involved bicep curls, triceps extensions and shoulder lifts, my arms grew the most, by the rest of my torso remained weak and frail. That was mistake number 1. Not understanding then how the human muscle system worked, i found it bewildering why i lost arm wrestling matches although i had packed on bulging biceps and triceps; chest strength is actually the number 1 factor in arm wrestling.
Mistake number 2, i did not do sets in increament, as in doing multiple sets with increasing weight, and finally a cool down set of lighter weight.

College life proved as busy as hell, plus the limited transport, my efforts were halted altogether. My good homeboy Ong and I decided to race each other by eating as much meat as possible each day, and doing some pushups, the efforts were nothing more than a speck of dust blown away. WOnder where all that beef went to. Time was the major constraint, and watever free time we had left were either spent resting (involves sleeping), or a little downtown trip to destress. obviously an addition of gym to our ridiculous college timetables and demands proved impossible.

Then, the big move to NZ, this is where my efforts started to show results. Under the influence and guidance of my friend Iswandi, i began to frequent the gym, and in my spare time, read up articles from menhealth magazines, and the menhealth website itself. Perfecting techniques, and putting time into was not easy. Uni life proved just as demanding, and in the second semester i found a part time job, making things harder, till a certain point during final exams, gym efforts came to a freeze altogether. Nevertheless, i managed to follow as strictly as possible. Gym a minimal of 3 times a week, and 6 meals a day.
Gym involved some pre-weight cardio (mostly running), followed by weights. I started with full body workouts, setting the base for more gains. Followed by more focused workout plans for each muscle group, eg, chest, back, arms, abs or leg, all the while making sure to give enough recovery time after each workout, so not to over stress myself.
6 meals a day u say? As i could not afford protein shakes which are direly important for hard gainers, i resolved to old fashioned eggs and milk. normally breakfast involved some bread with peanut butter with 2 eggs and a tall glass of milk. Lunch and dinner normally consists of rice with lean meat and veges. The 3 snacks spread out between meals are a mix and match of milk, fruits (i recommend bananas), peanutbutter sandwiches (peanuts are an excellent source of protein), and eggs.
In addition, I always took 1 tall glass of milk and 3-4 egg whites right after my workout (protein shakes have since taken over this old fashioned method). all in all, in a workout day, i would ultimately consume 7-8 eggs (only 2 yolks though). scary isnt it? but even a gym assistant advised me the same.
How successful was i? Given i could not give full commitment everyday of every week, i gained 10kgs over 1 year. But i have heard tales of really committed and dedicated guys packing on 8-10kgs of muscle in 2-3 months. Until i can afford to gobble protein shakes like water, i guess my progress will be at a slower pace, but i hope to continue working and keep it going!

Hope this story proves to be inspirational!

What everyone should do to their D-Link Modems

2009-12-30T15:08:00.004+13:00

Okay, the internet is a very important part of our lives, thus making the Lan Router or Wireless Router a very marketable item. but for the unfortunate few of us who bought the D-link routers (eg D-link 2640T, and it's brothers), we are bound to get disconnections or u like them "line breakages". then u'd have to frequently reset your modem which kills the point of wireless. I dont like walking downstairs, pushing a stupid button, and walking back up every so frequently.

What's the problem? bad casing design, providing poor ventilation, causing overheating of the components inside. There are a few solutions to this, but for those who are not good at handling heat sink components or doing wiring, this is the simplest.

Here's your lousy modem, open up the screws at the bottom, and crack up the top case. This voids ur warranty, so i wouldnt do this if it's brand NEW.

Cheap laptop coolers provide extremely lousy and weak fans, but some of them are adequately functional. So, my suggestion, u need three components. A usb - wall plug adapater (as above) (this is a device that allows u to charge usb devices like ipods using a wall socket), second a cheap and lousy laptop cooler (u are going to disassemble this), and a good strong casing fan that will fit snugly in your router (ALways Measure before u buy).

Now, what you have to do is

There will be wires connecting the laptop cooler's usb plug to it's fans, what u need is just the usb plug + the wire. so cut off the fan(s) saving as much of the length of the wire as possible, then strip the end of the wires to expose the copper insides. Next cut off the three pin power plug off from ur casing fan. Do the same here, strip the ends of the wires.

Now, you should have two exposed wires from the usb port, and 2 exposed wires from ur casing fan. Now u dont know which to connect to which dont u? Try them out, dont seal them permanently with duct tape yet. There's an arrow sign on the casing fan, indicating which way the fan should spin. When u get it right, seal it with duct tape. make sure u tape each wire separetely, not together.

Now, for me, i just attached the fan to my modem with sticky tact. if u wanna do it more professionally, i suppose u could get some hard tools and drill a hole in the casing, but it's hard pro work.

here's how it should look (this one is done with the original lousy laptop cooler fan only)

walah, so much for ur heating problems. U can now enjoy more hours of endless onlining. if u wanna go pro, u could google up some insane mods to modems, using various heatsinks. for those of u who dont know, heatsinks are metal components (usually made from aluminium or copper) which provides a larger surface area for heat dissipation).

Operation "Fat-Man" Continues with Syntha-6

2009-12-26T14:47:00.004+13:00

In case you dont know, Fat-man is a historic atomic bomb, or in the game "Fallout", it's a portable nuke launcher.

But in my case, it comes in the form of stacking up more flesh on my frame. Lotsa meat, lotsa gymming, lots of eating, and lotsa staying at home doing nothing, i hope will help me stack on some pounds. The process has been going on for a year now, albeit some disturbances to the plan from late nights at work, late nights studying for exams and the like. Of the 10 months in New Zealand, i could say the operation has been commencing for around 6 months (disturbances to schedule included), i managed to stack on almost 10kgs.

Now, hopefully in this 2 months of pure vacation, i will hopefully add on more results to brag about in operation "Fat-Man". With no supply of good milk and cheese or spagetthi, i shall employ the help of another source, it's called "Syntha-6". It's a highly rated protein shake that's marketed in the US and also Asia. And i've heard good results from the guys at the gym. I also heard it's not as disgusting as the rest. Well, most of the shakes taste like vanilla, choc or strawberry ice cream, but at the end of the day, you'll pretty much get sick of it all, and just swallow it whole.
There you have it, the lean-mean (it's mean red, but i think it's not so lean), Syntha-6 bottle of which i will experiment myself on. If it works for me, i think it's gonna work for any skinny people out there. It seems to work just fine for those who want to cut down fat, and put on some lean muscles. It is a bit expensive, but if the results are good, i think it's going to be worth my time.

Why Do We Do Wat We Do

2009-12-25T21:31:00.002+13:00

I'm sure most of us (by us, i'm referring to my family and good friends, well, you;re pretty much the only bunch that cares enough to read my sad little blog) have sat down, stared into blankness and asked, "Why did i choose this path? What made me take up that big decision?"

Well, in my case, i've asked again and again, to myself, to my friends, to my girlfriend, to my brothers, and managed to come up with a conclusion to which i think is reasonable. Most of the time, exam grades and certificates dont govern how successful a person is. Hell, if it does, i'd imagine why some people are not richer than bill gates anytime soon. Success requires 3 things. A LOT of HARD(tm) (H-ealthy A-nd R-ational D-ecisions) work, a little bit of brains, and maybe some luck.

Your certificate which u, yesh, i'm pointing at you now, will get, or have gotten is an insurance policy. Be it:
1. something u've always dreamed of getting (i never dreamed of getting any piece of toilet paper personally).
2. something u took up because u had no other option
3. because ur mom told u to
4. because that's the only scholarship available
5. others: please state __________

Having any kind of tertiary certificate is ALWAYS a good thing, but it is no key to opening up your dreams of having a good life. It is only:
1. A good push when u first join the robotic workforce
-with a piece of toilet paper, i mean certificate, u can get a head start at getting a job.
2. Something to fall back on
-decided to start business? but the time and resource is not right?
3. A status
-there are two businessman, one u find out started business after high school, the other, used to be a pharmacist. i think i would probably be biased to listening to the pharmacist.

the conclusion, the only way to a free flow of money is only one word : BUSINESS.
yes, i know businessman is considered a job. what i mean here running your own business is the only way you're going to make it big! ooo yeah, is 10k a month a lot of money in terms of salary? how do u think businessman's can afford cars that are worth half a million dollars? and on a regular basis? you do the maths. they can wipe their asses with 10k if you asked me.
hollywood superstars did not get filthy rich just by acting, the successful ones put their money into record labels, fashion designs, etc. the ones who fail, are the ones who never change.

Let me give u a clear example on the word business.
Why do private doctors earn a hell lot more than government doctors?
Simple explanation:
Government Doctor - it's a WAGED JOB (monthly paid)
Private Doctor - it's a BUSINESS (how much work u do, and how much money you put in governs how much you earn)

For a government doc, it doesnt really matter how many ppl you treat, u get paid the usual pay.
For a private doc, you are selling products. The product comes in the form of service, treatment and medical supplies.

Both equally hard, but the business part looks more profitable. I hate to think of medicine as a profit machine, but then again, welcome to Earth.

Well, in reality, business is a hard sea to conquer, but for us who dare to venture into the murky waters filled with crocodiles ready to devour you alive, good luck! Things are never as simple as it seems. I've no experience in this field yet, but there are tons of things to handle, but i'm sure it will be an adventure, as long as you're doing something u think is worth your time.

I have faith that most of u reading my shit, will make it big someday. If then u see me sitting by the roadside, with my guitar in hand, please be generous, wahaha.

Why the Headbar change?

2009-12-24T18:40:00.004+13:00

Fallout 3, after 3 attempts at this game, I finally FINISHED IT. - well at least the main story in the game.

attempt number one on my laptop. Small screen, laggy gameplay, no vertical sync on my laptop, and frequent crashes made me quit the game not even halfway through.

attempt number two, installed it on my new desktop as a tester game, failed because of graphics driver incompatibility resulting in game crashes and game save losses

attempt number three, finally finally, after a system update, the game runs smoothly at Ultra High Quality, albeit some rare crashes (but that's always a case with computer games, so always remember to hit the quicksave button every 10 minutes or so).

i've heard lots and lots of good reviews about this game, and when i first played it on my laptop, i made a big mistake. although my laptop was meant to be a "gaming" laptop, laptops are not made for gaming. okay, u didn't get that? let me rephrase, laptops are made for 1 sole purpose = mobility. in every other way, laptops are crap.

be it alienware, asus, dell or watever shit u can find out there, Gaming laptops are made for ppl either with too much money to spare, or do not know the existence of desktops. okay, enough with my ranting. On to the game! It's a little late, but here it is! Well, the story starts out that u have been brought up in an underground vault, built ages ago to shield against a nuclear holocaust. under certain circumstances, u escape the vault in search of your father. bla bla bla, dont wanna spoil the game for those who havent played (to gamers who havent, go PLAY it).

I'm not a fan of dark apocalyptic settings, but it proves to be an interesting playground for hunting mutants and testing out weird (and wonderful?) weapons.

*spoiler warning*
here's an example, u can even stumble upon an alien crashsite and say oh, "wats that lousy and stupid looking pistol doing there, and wat are those glowing cylinders doing there?" well, it just so happens to be one of the most powerful weapons in the entire game - the almighty alien blaster.

there's the alien beside the crashed ship and below's the alien blaster

Enough said, the idea of the game has been around for ages (duh, it's fallout THREE already), but still it's still a game to be remembered and talked about for a long time. although with all Bethesda games (that's the company that makes em), u tend to see a LOT of similarities as in games such The Elder Scrolls: Oblivion, Star Wars: The Old Republic etc. Well, since they're all made on the same game engine (okay, in layman terms, a game engine is like the platform a game is made on which governs all the physics, graphics, lighting etc, like different chocolate cakes made with the same oven and the same cake tin, does that make any sense?). But still, they're all sandbox games with tons of stuff to do, and tons of places to see. If u like free roaming games which are a little slow, bethesda games are for you!

For Young Readers, How to Cheat in Your Exams

2009-12-24T16:02:00.003+13:00

Okay, so i ran out of ideas (well, since all those famous writers like to have a writers block before any big breakout, what's wrong with me having one), so here i am writing a post that is absolutely worthless, but still, it's fun entertainment.

*Warning, Johnny does not guarantee the success of these methods, and will not take responsibility for any failed papers*
*Johnny is a science student, thus, the following methods will not be very effective for essay type questions*

Okay kids, have u been failing papers? Or do u just need the slight nudge to get that A, or are u just lazy to do anything for your coming exams? Well, here's Johnny's Guide To Cheating! (TM).

1. The easiest method, and the most easily caught is bringing notes into the exam venue. Of course writing on little pieces of paper works if u have hands of a magician, but usually u get CAUGHT. So what do u do? Mechanical Pencils and click pens are all the rage now, and the come in all shapes and sizes, so why dont u write those few hard to remember ones on your pen or pencils? Just get a few white looking ones get a permanent marker and write neatly! Do is so that it looks like pre made decoration? Walah. Well, this method has not been tried, but a similar one has been, the days when pencil-cases are allowed into the exam halls. *Cough* someone *cough* has tried this before and scribbled lots of notes on his pencil case, and his friends did the same, so they had almost a full set of notes in a circle of around 3-4 friends.

2. If ur exam hall has CCTV, this step is pretty much scrap. How do u trade answers with your friends? Well, when no one is looking, just swap papers and he/she will write on yours, and you will write on theirs. Just highlight or circle the ones you do not know, and swap it! Only do this if u have finished the rest of your questions and you have some time left. After that, either swap back and finish up or hand it in! A good time to do this is maths! Because the difference in handwriting is much harder to detect when it's all numbers!

Wow, 3 new posts so far, that's an achievement.

2009-12-22T15:49:00.002+13:00

I thought i'd clear this up for my friends in Brisbane who were asking me how i bloody got so rich in Pet Society (the 2d facebook game). Well, i've stopped playing well then again i actually only played for the fun of hacking.

Note, this method no longer works, but i bet u can find a loophole somewhere some how.
First, how did i get all those status points? It's a program called cheat engine, in layman terms, the game ur playing in ur brower (mozzila, win explorer) is telling the game server how much points ur earning and stuff, so using cheat engine, u can change the values of say - gaining 10points in a race, to gaining 1000000 in a race.

However, this did not work for gold coins, because the game admins have somehow managed to fix the gold hacking problem. (well, if ur lucky enough and hacked it 1 month before i even did, u'd be the richest pet alive).

For starts, everytime u brush ur dirty pet, u get 2 coins or 1 coin. If u brush a 100% clean pet, u get no points. So, what i did was, i used "cheat engine (TM)" to freeze my pets cleanliness status, and kept brushing my pet. But that's so bloody slow right? What i did was i got a program called "mouse recorder (TM)" and told it to repeat my mouse clicking and dragging movements of brushing my pet for endless hours while i was sleeping the night off. There u go, endless coins.
Does this method still work? I doubt it, the game admins are always fixing bugs (in layman terms glitches or problems) in the game.

To all hackers out there, ATTENTION, SALUTE!

Avatar

2009-12-22T15:39:00.002+13:00

Well, to those who havent watched it, u should. Although it might not appeal to ppl who dont like action fantasies. Nevertheless, it's quite a nice long movie with an original storyline and it feels like your playing a game with graphics that's maybe to come in 5 years. but if u used to be, or still are, a hardcore gamer who has played more games that he has eaten rice (me perhaps?), u'd feel that they actually combined a lot of ideas, environments and stories of many games and made it one long movie.

Well, at least the copycat part is done nicely and smoothly. UNLIKE Storm Warriors, omg, u can 100% see that they clearly copied "300" and "Advent Children". Well, Avatar is worth rewatching on DVD or Blu Ray or *cough* down *cough* load. If u're a fan of Storm Warriors, save ur cash and down *cough* load it.

Ok, So the "Prodigal" Son Returns

2009-12-22T15:09:00.003+13:00

That's the name my good ol cousin had for me once lol. But the problem is, i did not return with a stack of gold, a nobel prize nor some sort of a musical school certificate. But i did return with a bachelor of health science; but what u can do with that, is another story altogether. Probably u can get a job as a janitor i suppose?

Well, my blog's been dead for quite some time, for the new readers, my blog will contain pure interesting babble with minimal pictures, if ur looking for pictures, you're better off reading my girlfriend sharin's blog (well, that's cause i like looking at her, got a problem?!), or maybe siok shen's blog. That's IF they are still blogging tho. Gonna find out soon.

Long story short, 10 months in new zealand, now i'm back finished with my first year (should i add a hell yeah?). Well, i'd say i'm still having trouble adapting to food back here in malaysia, i'm so used to serving everything on one plate and swallowing it as fast as i could with a glass of milk (for my friends who know me well, you'd know i'd say everyday food is just to survive lol). Here, there's white rice, a bowl of soup, and other dishes. I dont like thinking how much of each should i take, and i dont think my parents will like the idea of me putting all the dishes in one bowl and mixing them and eating them in one go.

The weather? Well, i've decided that at certain hours of the day (10am-8pm), the air conditioning MUST be on, or else i'd sweat to death (yes, that IS possible). The gym's here kinda different too, well for once i actually feel like i'm not a small and weak person, yay! Unlike the white boys who can lift 30kgs in one hand, things back home are a lot more mild.

So what other crap did i do since i've gotten back? well, other than my usual job of being a handyman 'on call' whenever my dad needs me, i guess i've been relaxing a lot, getting on the phone with my girlfriend, hanging out with some of my friends, and also working hard on the long road to rock solid muscles (for ppl with skinny genes like me, forcing it to grow has been hard, but the results so far are quite reasonable). Well, about the rock solid part, there's the trouble with food here as well, no endless supply of milk, or cheese, and my parents definitely do not like the idea of me munching countless eggs everytime i come back from the gym (i guess it is a bit unhealthy), no beef steaks, no chicken chops etc. I suppose the process has been slowed down. Luckily, i have managed to get hold of some protein powder, but then again, the protein powder they sell here (well at least in my small town) are made for wussies - meaning, high sugar and low protein.

Well, i think if u manage to read till this line, u are definitely someone who will listen to whatever crap i have to offer. More coming ur way! (unless my modem decides to fail me, or my keyboard breaks down).

Signing off.

The Returner

2009-12-09T03:19:00.002+13:00

Unlike the title which might make u think of Takeshi Kaneshiro in the movie the returner, who encounters a girl who can teleport through time, i have no such talent, nor ability.
I am just here to announce that i am still alive and well, still having my spine and brain and all that.

if i have the time and energy, i shall be returning to write about my adventures. even if i dont haven any adventures, i will be sure to exaggerate everyday routine, and turn it into adventures, only found in the stuff of legends.

peace out.

Making Life Simpler n Better John Style

2009-04-27T13:35:00.002+12:00

Here is John's guide to making life simpler. This method has only been proven to work on John. Has not been tested on other humans and animals. So effectiveness is not guaranteed. (notice the use of third person view, to make it sound more philosophical)

1. Dont be careless, just care less. Care less about all the insignificant things. John frees more brain cells, thus can rest his brain faster, and consume less energy.

2. Dont plagirise, just improvise. John has a creative, but slow moving brain. Thus he needs to look at several copies of very well written assignments and then gather his zen, then start off with his own assignment.

3. Dun ignore workloads, just minimise everything. Anything that u dont have to read, dont read. Anything u dont have to do, dont do. Any homework that can be copied without getting ur friend or u into trouble, just copy. Anything that is not tested, John doesnt want to know, doesnt want to learn, doesnt care. John aint telling u to sleep all the time, but study and do wat is only necessary.

4. Maintain take and give relationships with ur best pals. Share workload. I do half, u do half. This is how John managed to complete his high school, and complete hundreds of games at the same time, all the while getting more than enough sleep.

5. No time to finish extra questions? READ and understand the given complete answers. If not provided, get a photocopy from friend. Then, try the hardest ones to get the minimal practice.

6. (From Sang Geng) Maintain a "split-mind". Personal issues should never ever be mixed with work, or anything else. Person A makes u mad, doesnt mean u can show ur anger and tantrum on Person B. Person A makes u mad, doenst mean u dont have to finish ur lab report.

7. Listen to music or even better, play music. John doesnt mind spending big bucks on a guitar, cause he knows how to take care of it. Might even sell it for a higher price someday. Music is hidden talent in many.

8. Cant sing, cant dance? Do something else which is you think is fun. Playing games, hiking, cooking. Sleeping is not included. (although John finds sleeping the whole day is exceptionally fun).

9. Take care of ur expensive stuff - Laptop, guitar, bicycle, handphone, Ipod, car. When maintained, these items will serve u well. When not, u will shove big bucks down the drain to get a new one, or to get them repaired. For bloody gods sake, at least wipe off the layer of dead skin cells off ur keyboard and ur h.p. keypad.

10. Get friends. Yes, to those who dont have friends, John recommends that u make some friends. Not everyone in this world will take the liberty to approach a quite boy standing in a dark corner and ask him if he is alright. Sometimes, the boy needs to learn how to approach other ppl, put on a nice smile, do his hair, and put on cute watery eyes. Yes, image DOES matter, whether u like it or not.

11. Not everyone is born with genes that code for good-looking-ness. But it doesnt help to try and do good with what u have. Just know the limits.

Squeezing the most out of Merchants

2009-04-05T13:49:00.002+12:00

Probably if ur gonna buy something expensive, it's hard to get the merchant to shave off the price, but i find that asking for freebies is a good way to make up for it. For example, I bought a guitar recently, and no matter how much i pressured him, he just would not budge to shave a few 10s off the price. Hence, i "persuaded" him into throwing in a hard-shell case and a strap, and a battery for the Pre-Amplifier. Well, i suppose that's not much, but it's better than nothing.

A Great Idea From A Good Chef

2009-04-05T11:16:00.002+12:00

Living off alone has sparked the development of many new skills and ideas. Sometimes u just dont feel like eating out, and u want a freaking tasty homemade dish. Well, i have acquired this skill from my next door neighbour. All u need is a few tupperwares and of course, u hafta spend at least one free morning or afternoon per week.

Just come up with 5 or so recipes, one for each day per se? Of course, if u bloody cant cook, go learn! Just cook the dishes u want, but make sure u make them in a way that prevents the food from going bad when u store them in da fridge. For example, if ur going to make beef and gravy, seperate the gravy and beef. Mix them up and stick them into the microwave when u wanna eat. Aint that simple? Also, try to consume the dishes which has got a lot of vege's in them, cause cooked veges are the hardest to preserve. Fried stuff tend to last better. Well, you wont be getting the same test as Mommy's hot meals, but it's the closest u can get when u have a tight tight schedule.

Now u can have a different dish everyday just by sacrificing one afternoon's time in da kitchen.

The Best Angle For Chick Watching In Lectures

2009-03-28T16:46:00.005+13:00

Well, I'm guessing if ur a single guy (even if ur not, this will STILL APPLY), u will be busy girl watching before any lecture begins. N oh, vice versa for girls X-D. After many experimentation, i have decided that the best angle is to sit somewhere along the sides of the lecture hall, presuming most lecture hall seats are arranged in a curve.

As u can see from Diagram A, the angle from the middle, is not that good. U can only look at girls' back, n that can be very boring. Now, if u sit a position B, u can get a far better view of most of the seats. Hope that helps!

Size Up In New Zealand

2009-03-24T19:12:00.002+13:00

I was one of the "lucky" ppl who happened to come across a free instant maggi mee giveaway booth n became the happy 5-pack maggi mee receiver. One afternoon after a long period of hibernating, i was kinda hungry. Thinking that the maggi mee here is just as miserable as those back in Malaysia, i popped 2 packets n dumped them into boiling water.
I almost couldn't finish the bowl! The packets of instant noodles here are of "decent" size I suppose. No more double/triple/quadraple indomee goreng ripoffs from the mamaks.

Hacking Online Games is Almost Impossible for Amature Hackers

2009-03-23T19:51:00.003+13:00

FYI, hacking online games (not pet society pls, that's a crap game) such as World of Warcraft, Ragnarok Online is in a way not possible, because all the information is stored in the host server. Ur pc only tells the server where u are clicking n pressing on ur keyboard. No info about ur cash, health, etc etc is stored on ur pc. Thus, hacking is impossible, unless ur good enuf to hack into their server n edit the values urself! If ur able to do that, I would like to ur friend!

cheat engine and mouse recorder

2009-03-23T19:22:00.002+13:00

So, lots of ppl have been messaging me on facebook on how i managed to get 500k exp points on my "Pet Society" account.
The answer is simple, i cheated.
How? Cheating is either a gamer's taboo, or a gamer's best way of enjoying a game. Depends on you.

I used a program called Cheat Engine.
http://www.cheatengine.org/
This nifty little gadget allows u to monitor and intercept the information that flows between ur pc n the host server. All it takes is a little bit of learning (youtube, metacafe), n u can hack simple games. However, Pet Society admins seem to have patched the game, so methods in Youtube no longer work (i suppose).

Another way (a more legal way i suppose) is a combination of CHeat Engine and any kind of "mouse movement" recorder.
I use "Axife Mouse Recorder".
Basically, u can record wat ur doing with ur mouse and or keyboard, and then have ur pc mimic the actions.
Then, using cheat engine, i made my pet really dirty, and then "froze" the "hygiene" stat bar. After that, i scrubbed my pet non stop using mouse recorder and went to sleep. Scrubbing your pet will generate coins ($2 may not be much, but scrub him ultra fast and ultra long will yield lots of coins).

There u have it. John's a cheater (in games ONLY. not with girls, mind you).

Jokes By Blackman (My Chemistry Professor)

2009-03-15T09:47:00.002+13:00

I wonder how much time he spent in the lab to come up with these.

1. One particle said to the other, "i think i've lost an electron". The other said, "are u sure?"
"yes, I'm positive".

2. A neutron was drinking in a bar. When he was finished, he asked for the bill. The bartender said, "For you, no charge".

3. Which is the better solvent? Water from Africa, or from the South Pole? The answer is water from the South Pole. Because it's polar.

OMFG.

Random Garfield Strip (Click Image To Enlarge)

2009-03-13T09:38:00.001+13:00

Apple iPhone 3G

2009-03-13T00:21:00.000+13:00

Definitely "The" most wanted device of this year, theres a lot to look forward to. The multi touch navigation is intuitive and makes the phone a great deal of fun.

The display is absolutely hypnotic with crystal clear resolution and good coloring.

The Iphone 3G does lack support for 3G data network and does not have instant messaging or office apps, but what it does have it has the best of.

A great deal like the first iphone, this one combines a mobile phone, with an Ipod, internet capabilities and adds in a few other functions, such as the 3G support (UMTS/HSDPA - 850, 1900, 2100 MHz) along with its GPS functions.

The iPhone 3G display has the same 3.5 inch display that you’re accustomed to, and offers you 320x480 resolution at 163 ppi, however it offers you a slightly higher quality, thicker case, which features one of either a black or awhite plastic back instead of the original aluminum that it sported.

Including either 8 GB or 16 GB of storage ( You can only buy the white model with 16 GB), it also offers support for Wi-Fi, for Bluetooth, and gives you 2.0 megapixel camera as well that supports what they term "geotagging".

In original reports, Apple states that the Iphone 3G will give you up to 24 hours of play time when in audio, 10 hours of talking time when using the 2G, 5 hours of talking time when using 3G and 6 uninterrupted hours of WiFi internet use.

The Same IPhone 3G will permit you to have about 7 hours of video playback or else close to 300 hours of standby time.

The iPhone 3G offers the same interface as its original model, multi touch, ambient lighting and proximity sensoring although the proximity sensors are now two in number as opposed to the original one.

I give it 9/10

D-link DWA 140 Review

2009-03-13T00:11:00.000+13:00

D-Link DWA-140

The D-Link DWA-140 is a USB Wi-Fi adapter powered by RangeBooster N technology. The device measures 1.1 x 0.5 x 3.4 inches (W x H x D) and weighs 0.1 pounds. The DWA-140 is compatible with desktop and notebook computers with a USB 2.0 or 1.1 port and running on Microsoft’s Windows Vista (32-bit only), Windows XP with Service Pack 2 and Windows 2000 with Service Pack 4. It has a wireless frequency range of 2.4GHz to 2.462 GHz.

As a RangeBooster N USB Adapter, the D-Link DWA-140 complies with the draft 2.0 specifications of the 802.11n wireless networking standard. With a 802.11n network, the user can enjoy up to 12 times the speed and 4 times the range of an 802.11g network allowing the user to share high-speed Internet connections, larger files such as music and photos etc. 802.11n is also backwards compatible with 802.11g.

The DWA-140 is simple to setup and use. In addition to the necessary drivers, the included CD-ROM comes with D-Link’s Quick Adapter Setup Wizard and Wireless Manager. The Quick Adapter Setup Wizard will take the user through an easy step-by-step installation. The Wireless Manager allows the user to keep track of his most used wireless networks to make connecting easier. The device also has LED lights for easy monitoring of network activity and link status.

For security, the D-Link DWA-140 offers support for Wi-Fi Protected Access (WPA and WPA 2).

I'd have to say though, the range is not as powerful as I'd hope it'd be. Definitely will not beat an antenna wireless card on a desktop. 7/10

Proxifier Review

2009-03-12T22:30:00.000+13:00

The Proxifier!

This is a great program for University students, or company workers that are trapped behind their school's or company's proxy server, unable to connect to various sites, and often cannot use even simple internet applications. The proxifier is very user friendly, easy to set up, and can help u bypass some of the Proxy server restrictions. It comes with traffic and statistics tabs to help you monitor individual connections. Normal internet users might find this software useful if you're trying to hide your actual IP address by using proxy chains. 8/10

http://www.proxifier.com/

Online Internet Gambling Scams

2009-03-12T18:12:00.000+13:00

So, over the past few weeks, I've had the pleasure of being introduced to "Idiot Proof" roulette methods that is sure to make u hundreds in half an hour.

If ur not a newbie to roulette, skip this boring paragraph please
Here's how it works. For the complete newb, Roulette is a gambling game where u put ur bet on certain "boxes" on the table, which may include numbers, colours, odd/even, etc. Then, the big wheel bowl thing with complementary "boxes" spins and the dealer throws a little ball in it. If the ball stops on the box u bet on, u win, if not, u lose. Payout depends on how low the possiblity of hitting that box. For god's sake, google up roulette.

So first, i explored wat is called the Martingale method. U only have to bet on either black or red (each of the numbers on the wheel will be coloured red or black, 50/50). The method explains that the percentage of getting either red or black is 50/50, n thus, the earnings if u win is equal to the amount u bet Easy?

1. I will bet $1 on black.
2. If i win, well i WIN, and i need to repeat the process (step 1). If I lose, i need to double my bet on black this time. So i will put $2 on black.
3. If I win, well, back to step 1. If I lose again, i need to again double my bet. So i will bet $4 on black now. So everytime I lose, i need to double my bet, until I win, and that's likely, because it's just like flipping a coin.

Now lets do the Math. Simple progression maths. Lets say I lose 3 times before i win on the 4th bet. So that's $1 + $2 + $4 = $7. That's how much I lost.
Now, on the 4th time, i bet $8, and i win, so i get payout of $8. So 8-7=1. I get $1.

The idea here, is that everytime i complete a chain, i will earn $1. Since online casinos are all the rage now, u can literally go on a clicking frenzy and earn hundreds in half an hour or so. The bigger ur initial bet, say $5, each time u complete the chain, u will earn $5.
WOW!, that's pretty sound eh? Free money in NO-TIME!.

Wait, there's something they don't tell u. Wats that?

1. There's a number they DONT colour. The "0" or '00'. So ur winning chance is actually LESS than 50%.
2. Most Roulette tables have betting limits (say $300).
3. It is possible that u can go on a winning streak, say 8 times in a row? The chances of losing streaks is exactly the same.
Lets say u bet initilal $1, if u lose 10 times, 1*2^10 = 1024. That would be the amount ur gonna have to bet (AND WIN) to earn $1. N u CANT, cause the table has a betting limit. So, bye bye money. All it takes is just one bad luck streak, in between the many $1 winnings, n ur done.

U wanna know how casinos earn money? Statistics say that the general earnings of the casino is actually just about 5% of the amount of money put on tables. N casinos have HUGE financial backings to cover the occasional jackpot. On the other hand, YOU who is using the Martingale method, do NOT have a HUGE financial backing to cover ur "occasional" losing streak.

N good old non coloured MR "0" on the roulette table always ensures the table has a slight edge over the gambler whos using Martingale (also known as progression betting).

So, there it is folks. A scam revealed

John's Survival Guide to College Life in a Cold Zone

2009-03-03T18:30:00.000+13:00

orite, so my flat has a heater in each bedroom, and another one in the living room. since the living room is so large, the tiny little heater can't do shit. worse yet, my bedroom heater has a stupid timer thingy, it will turn off after one hour. then u have to turn it back on again. I definitely would not want to come home to a freezer room in winter.

Thus, i have inspected the electrical cable which leads into a wall. aha, so it states there on the little panel that it has 230-240volts. same as any other power sockets! magnificient.

Thus, i have decided that under desperate measures, i will strip the cable, and connect the wires to a normal 3-pin plug u can find in electrical parts stores. then, will just have to plug it into a power socket, and i will get 24-hour heating. i wonder why they even call the 1 hour timer a safety measure, it not even hot enuf to kill an ant. rather than saving electricity, the heater cools down, then heats up again, it's total waste.

also, be sure to aim the living room heater towards ur rooms, or the walls of ur room. it will help heat things up, even for just a little!

workshop classes has paid off.

John's Guide to Simple Excercise with a Mountain Bike

2009-02-27T11:47:00.001+13:00

1. To get ur stamina in perfect condition, go grocery shopping, and fill ur backpack with heaps of heavy objects. Then, find the toughest way home, with a lot of uphills.

2. To get ur leg muscles perfectly toned, find the steepest uphill, shift to gear 1, and up u go!

3. To get ur butt muscles toned, find a nice road with a medium height sidewalk. Go up and down the sidewalk like mad. U shud feel ur butts getting worked!

4. To get ur abs toned, find a nice long staircase and go down it. U shud be holding ur breath, all the while toning ur abs. X-D U shud be also training ur back!

5. To get ur neck in good condition, go down a hill while looking up at the sky. U shud fall down, and maybe break ur neck. When u heal, ur neck shud have metal rods in it.

6. Ok that was a joke. Serious serious! Hit the hills! It's fun! Trust me! But before u do, make sure u get ur stamina in top conditions. If u get panting just by going to the post office, u've got work to do man!

7. Carry ur bike up the stairs everyday, it shud do pretty well with ur biceps and triceps! X-D

John's reply to Leslie's "Intelligence By Half" theory

2009-02-23T23:40:00.000+13:00

So, leslie has stated that if human being's intelligence and brawns started with "X" amount (from Adam), each time we reproduce, it get's divided by the number of offspring. So that means we're getting dumber and dumberer by the reproductive second.

Hence, john has come up with a very good solution to the dumbering crisis. I have currently not come up with an idea to go back to how clever humans were in the past (like being able to go against mammoths with their bare hands), but there is a way to slowly make our way back up. Every couple must have only 1 child, or 2 maximum, and polygamy must be encouraged!

So u see, if the male has Y amount of intellegence and brawn, and, the female also has Y, then the child gets either (Y+Y) divided by 1, or 2 in that case. SO the level of intelligence n brawns is either doubled, or remains the same! Since 1 or 2 child restriction is going to reduce population, polygamy is encouraged coupled with the 1-2 child limit, then more children will be produced with either doubled or maintained intelligence and brawns. And oh, since male and females now have equal rights, polygamy works both ways X-D. No offence to those who are offended, it's a JOKE! (well, that depends on how u take it)

Why u shud learn to sing

2009-02-23T23:26:00.000+13:00

If u've got the talents, here's why u shud learn to sing:

1. When u sing a great song in a pub, you get a free drink, shot, beer, watever.
2. Alcohol's the first and most important prize totally, but as a bonus, you might get compliments from hot chicks, maybe some numbers too!
3. Singing keeps u warm in winter, lol,(totally, like when u sing out loud, you get really warm)
4. And oh, a part time performer gets a totally higher pay than a part timer at a supermarket.
5. WHen ur IPOD or music phone is broken, u can make some of ur own noise
6. U wont have to be tortured by ur own voice when u sing in the bathroom.
7. Other ppl dun have to tortured by ur voice when u sing in the bathroom.
8. Of course, ur gal/boyfrend is totally gonna dig this!
9. Begging on the street for spare change is much easier!
10. Since u'll be watching wat u eat, u wont get cough that often, and the same goes for acne!

Some ppl hate Garfield, but i've been a long time fan,

2009-02-21T18:06:00.001+13:00

I think u twats have never seen garfield so ugly before.
it's a cut from 1978, when garfield n jon made their first appearance

I'M BACK - WITH TONS MORE CRAP

2009-02-21T17:44:00.000+13:00

Behind the Scenes of The Beijing 2008 Logo Inspiration Team

Author will be on hiatus

2009-02-09T23:22:00.000+13:00

Attention! the author of Johnny's Ville will be busy busy busy soon and will be moving halfway across the globe to further his studies. Thus, this blog is bound to be inactive until he is able to get a hold of a decent enough internet connection. Tank u

Return of The Ultimate Human

2009-01-21T20:00:00.000+13:00

I have looked high and low, far and near for an example of an Ultimate Human which i so desperately tried to create in the beginning of my blog. It's chinese new year season, and there was one shop playing some chinese movies. and i found one of the possible examples of an ultimate human =

herein lies a good example of a wacky superhero. Funny, crazy and superstrong. Stephen Chow plays "Sing" in Kung Fu hustle. Able to take a pounding with a slipper from his kung fu expert landlady, and also take in a few knives thrown at him, Sing makes the perfect ultimate human. After pissing off his landlady, Sing runs at the speed of light, chased by her landlady. In the beginning, Sing was a dumb boy, but after taking a flurry of punches from the supervillain, his body miraculously healed, and the punches has cleared his blood/chi circulation, creating the ultimate kung fu exponent because apparently, his potential super kung fu abilities was lying dormant his whole life (i cant believe i'm actually writing this crap!). Battling countless guys with axes and other wacky kungfu villains, this character is perfect. I faintly remember the movie to be quite good, just that it was too short to enjoy. Who would not remember moves like the "lion's roar"and "buddha palm" and also a musical instrument that could summon skeletons?. LOL.

I will continue to seek out more examples of ultimate humans. chiaos.

A short But interesting post - Colourful Flames

2009-01-19T01:43:00.000+13:00

ok, so i know open burning is illegal. but i have accidentally found an easy wat to make a simple colourful display of flames. it's fun, because u can do it at campfires and bbq's.

So, i was burning some unwanted tree branches and other junk that had been deemed "useless" when i was moving homes. Since all of my old newpapers were already sold to the "surat khabar lama" man, i was looking for something to start a fire with. I looked around and found my old scrapbooks and projects. Sejarah and P.seni in particular. I had 3 of each (some belonged to my bros). So i took them down and tore the front page which was colour printed. And poof! wow, a colourful flame emerged. COOL!. So i was having a good time burning the colour pages one by one. When they ran out, the flame had gotten huge. The branches and junk were burning already. So i just dumped the rest of the pages into the flame. I wish i din leave my Intec textbooks at the hostel. Or else this would have been more satisfying.

A Day With Company X

2009-01-18T23:40:00.000+13:00

So, all scholarship holders sponsored by company X were asked to spend a day for a presumably "short" briefing session.
Before the official news arrived, there had been rumours that the meeting will take place at 8.30am that morning. However, the official letters arrived just one day before the meeting (for me) saying it was at 8.00am. And some ppl never got the letter.
Lalala, so happily we went. Nevermind if ur late, cause the meeting took place at just half past nine. Wat wonderful timing!
And moreover, we were asked to rehearse the goddam ceremony?? 2 times? wow, looks like we had a lot of time to spare, looking at the fact the meeting was supposed to end at noon. Lala, wait and wait some more. Guest of honour arrives. We sing national anthem and recite an oath.
And we continued to hear the same speech from 2 different persons.

Now the interesting part. A weird short person came up to give a freaking long-winded slide show about each and every of the many many flight schedules. (to towns in 2 countries, yes! each and every flight!). The weirdo with a weird accent then continued to give a talk about the rules and regulations of international flight that u can normally find pasted in size 18-24 fonts in airports everywhere where even kids n old ppl can read them (baggage weight, rules of carrying fluid bla bla bla). I was wondering wouldn't it be easier to forward a copy of the damn rules to everyon? i mean, everytime i go to a travel agency, there would be brochures on this crap, is making an email version of this shit so hard? or are they afraid we might not read it? For god's sake, we might be teenagers, but we're not stupid. And oh, some flight scedules were missing too. wow, really fantastic slide show.
And wow, as soon as ppl start asking about the flight scedules, another thin weirdo comes up to say "dun worry, we will inform u all details of the flight scedule soon".

capital W>T>F. then why bother giving a freaking 1-2 hour slide show about each and every one, when in the end they were gonna email every damn shit to us???

ooo, now they begin to distribute money? good. the problem is, amongst the 300++ ppl there, they decided to call one-by-one to receive the $$. I cannot even begin to understand the stupidity of doing so. One by one? this might be practical for a teacher distributing test papers in a classroom, but not 300 ppl for gods sake. After everyones turn, they decided repeat the process AGAIN? why? because the money given to us was not the whole sum. A new batch has just arrived, and one by one we lined up to receive it.
LALALA, suddenly the cash runs out? wow. is that even possible? more than half of the ppl did not get their share. again, i also cannot understand the stupidity of giving out incomplete sums, as a matter of fact, even calling us to be there on that day, when everything was still not done. n were told that the $$ would be settled "one way or another".

wats the time now? i stared at my watch and it was showing 5.30pm. so much for starting early and ending early.

well, i know u guys dun like this kind of boring blogs, but i just need to tell the world that wat is going on with company X.

tired and butt sore from all the sitting, and being tortured by an expensive suit for a whole day, i went back to the place i was staying.

the result of today? = one afternoon less of shopping for me. for u twats staying in large towns, i know this is nothing. but for twats like me who has to freaking fly to shop, time is PLATINUM.

Christmas presents i did not get.

2009-01-11T00:45:00.000+13:00

Santa did not give me the christmas presents i had wished for.
I wished for a BFG. Obviously he thought it was too dangerous for me. For it is not called BFG (Big Fucking Gun) for nothing

Here's "the Rock" with the supercool bfg. Santa sure is picky. The rock gets to melt thru walls by shooting giant sized plasmas out of his BFG. I dont. damn..

Santa did not give me the jetpack that i had wished for. He is being picky again.

U see, Sean Connery was having so much fun with his jet pack. I even sent Santa a picture of the Jetpack i want. He just din bother.
Well, my last wish almost came true. I wished for a hover-board.

I tot it would be such fun and cool to surf thru the streets at killer speeds. Well, i obviously did not get a hoverboard. Instead, santa left me with a wooden plank. Thanks santa!

Last but not least, i wished for a briefcase full of cash. Not a very big one. Medium one pun boleh. But, santa din have the heart to give me a case full of cash either. T_T

Well, guess it's a present-less christmas for me. I guess i was a bad kid this year?? Well, santa did not leave chunks of coal in my sock either. Nevermind, i'll try again next year. Maybe he's not that lazy next year.

College Life Nearly Killed Me

2009-01-09T01:27:00.000+13:00

ok. it's not as bad as the title suggested. And no, this is not a blog about my personal life also. It's just that i've noticed 1.5 years at college utterly killed my fitness level. Swimming non-stop and running non-stop was a breeze in high school. Basketball was cheesecakes.

Ok, so a few days back, i went for a jog. Not even 2 km, and i'm panting breathlessly already. My friend was asking if i was sick or sth? LOL! OMG!
Then there was the swim, not even 6 laps, and i'm drowning.. wth is wrong with me?
Thinking it's not all that bad, i went basketballing with a few mates. The score only touched double digits and i was crouching already, lmao.

So, to those twats thinking ur still in top shape after college, well, ur probably NOT. so get off ur lazy arses and get some running done! seriously i feel like a sick person and i hate it lol.

Fresh New Year

2009-01-09T00:18:00.000+13:00

So everything was great in the year 2008, untill the very last bit of the new year where my luck utterly was shoving me with lots of dirt. well, wat done is done. no matter how f'd up "company x" is, it's over now n i hope they burn in hell.

My my, wat to post? How about interesting stuff to do with fireworks and firecrackers?? FANTASTIC, it's Chinese New Year Season and wat better way to kick off a new post?

Hmm, alright, i'll start with mild experiences, then advance torwards the utterly insane.
Reader Discretion Advised - In the attempt of these acts, animals ARE ALREADY harmed before the production of this blog. I did not attempt any of these acts. Lets just keep him named as MR X for privacy purposes. HAHHAHA

1. I remember writing essays about coconuts. Yea, COCONUTS. and how it was the most useful plant around. Here's another use. Get a "Thunder King" firecracker, and light it, and stuff it into a dried empty coconut shell. BOOM!, dun worry, it wont explode. (well, for Mr X it didnt). The coconut husk will totally crack in a perfect half.

2. Hmm wat about an old metal pipe that's just convieniently laying on the ground? Find someplace to put it horizontally, and place a "Colour Thunder" in it. Light and run to a safe distance. Mr X told me that a colourful burst will come out shooting from the pipe. HOW EXCITING!!

3. Ant infestation problemS? worry no more, Mr X comes to the rescue! U can use various firecrackers for this purpose! Just stuff as much as u like into the ant hole and light em up! The ant will never want to return again. Well, at least u wont have ant problems till after Chinese New Year.

4. U dun like ur neighbour who's always: A) shouting? B)blasting the radio? C) noisy machinery?
or D) all of the above? Well, for this one, u will need some flying fireworks! With proper training and practive, u can perfectly land the fireworks on the neighbour's rooftop just before they explode, causing ur neighbour to think that his rooftop is collapsing! B-e-a-utiful!

5. Here comes the nasty ones. for those who dun have the stomach, stop reading now! Poisonous dragonflies are huge! All u have to do is catch one, not that hard. Just dont get stung. Now, Mr X told me he tied a "Match Firecracker" onto the dragonfly and lit it. Then he let it fly away and BOOM!. Mr X doesnt seem to be a very nice man anymore.

6. Mr X is reallly not a good person... He friggin tied a frog to a firecracker. A big one (well, the firecracker and the frog were both BIG). we all know wat happened next.

Hmm, now for the kiddies.

Kiddies kiddies, dont u all enjoy playing the nice little colour sticks and happily painting the neighbourhood at night! Mr X has improved this fun! Get an empty coca cola can, and get like 30 colour sticks. break all of the sticks, and fill in the coca cola can with the "gunpowder" from the sticks. DUn worry, kid stuff does not include explosions. Now, take another colour stick, and stick it deep into the "gunpowder". Light it up and run! The moment a spark reaches the gunpowder, a tall white flame will spurt out from the can! and when it's out, u will find that the coca cola can has disappeared. Where did it go?? Well, according to Mr X, the coca cola can has actually melted and evaporated from all the exciting heat! wow, fanstastic science! He said u would see some shiny stuff on the ground, which is actually watever remains of the can!

Sins of Company X

2009-01-01T19:26:00.000+13:00

A continuation from the previous post.

A telephone conversation with company X.

A is masyarakat biasa, B is company X.

A: Hello, my name is ****, may i know if Company X has received any of my letters dated **** regarding ****?
B: I cant seem to find ur letter in the computer records.
A: wat about hard copies?
B: wait, u will have to call this number ****** because i am not responsible to handling ur issues
A: ok.

A calls number *******
A: Hello, may i know if u have received letter from ****** dated ******?
C: Let me check, we havent received any letter from u.
A: The PosCepat records show that ur Company X has received the letters already.
C: I'm sorry, did u post it to my department or another?
A: I followed the address on ur original letter.
C: I'm sorry, we dont have it. U will have to post another one.
A: How long will it take to process?
C: I dont know, it depends.
A: Depends on what?
C: Many factors.

How is Abu Not Depressed??!!

2008-12-30T21:15:00.001+13:00

Once a upon a time, 4 years ago, Abu (bukan nama sebenar) punya abang sulung, Ali (bukan nama sebenar) finished his studies, with a scholarship provided by company X. Company X wanted Ali to report in to work with them. Thus Ali sent Company X a letter saying he's ready to accept work. However, Company X sent Ali a warning letter, saying he din not report in. Ali sent another letter, this time via registered post. Not long after that, Company X sent another warning letter, saying Ali has yet to report in. Already very du lan, Ali sent another "report in" letter to Company X, this time via "PosCepat" (bukan nama sebenar). Yet again, Company X gave a "final" warning letter to Ali. Ali was pissed, and went to Company X office personally to get things sorted out. They say they did not receive any of Ali's letter. HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE???

Then, once a upon a time also, Abu's second brother, Ahmad (bukan nama sebenar), finished his diploma under scholarship from Company X as well. Ahmad and friends, sent a letter to Company X to state that they have finished diploma and wished to continue studying further. All because Company X told them to do so. After a month of waiting, Company X has yet to reply anybody. Ahmad's friend called Company X, and Miss Z who answered the phone said they did cannot find their letters. Ahmad's friend told her to look. After another week of waiting, Miss Z did not call back. Ahmad's friend called again, this time Miss Y answered the phone, saying last week was Miss Z on duty, and did not tell her anything about the letter. After another 2 weeks, they finally replied the "lost" letters.

Not long after that, Ahmad finished his studies. He wanted to study further, all the way up. Company X asked him to report in. And thus, Ahmad sent a letter to Company X saying he wants to postpone it for reason of further studies. He sent it by FedFax express (bukan nama sebenar) which is freaking expensive. Not long after, he got an approval letter. wow. fantastic. a month after, another letter came in from Company X, saying Ahmad has breached the rules by not reporting in, and if he doesnt do so in 14 days (bukan amoun sebenar), he will be considered breaching contract. And thus, since Ahmad is far away overseas, Abu wrote a cover letter to give Company X a good "diau" in the arse.

Hmm, now it's Abu's turn. And the above stories are only from Abu's close family. Abu has heard a whole bunch of similar stories from all lapisan masyarakat. How can Abu not have a rotten view towards COmpany X??

How Gaming Saved My Youth

2008-12-19T19:44:00.000+13:00

1. I'm pretty sure most boys wrote down policeman, military, fireman, as their ambitions once upon a time. For most of us, that never came true. But with gaming, i got to kill countless terrorists, criminals, thieves and rouges in the cyberworld. And i din get blood on my hands too, and i din get bulletholes on my chest. Yeah, it was fun, i din need handcuffs or the need to apprehend criminals. And because of shooter games, i have steady, excellent, accurate hands. Ask my cousin, he's an architect. It's pretty handy. LOL. And if not for games, boys would have considered being a cop. And lived their lives on doughnuts and coffee. And grow fat.

2. As a child, i always dreamed of having million dollar cars. Games saved me from being a car thief. Games like grand theft auto allowed me to steal cars and at the same time, beat the crap out of the cars' owners. If not for that, i would have done that in the real world, and i would have get caught. and my dad would have had to bail me out of jail. SEE?? Games saved me from being a Criminal! Hearing all the reports of bribery lead to the bad image of cops. We all like to beat up cops right? but we cant. So we just beat them up in Grand Theft Auto. U can use a chainsaw or flamethrower also.

3. I left Sibu 1.5 years back, and the game DOTA was hot. I tot it was dead by now, with games like Fallout 3 and Red Alert 3 obviously overshadowing DOTA. But everywhere i looked, DOTA was still hot... Gosh, some of my friends did not want to hang out because they were too busy DOTA-ing. I guess it did them good right? If it was not for DOTA, and if i was a bad man, I would have been able to corrupt them. I would have taken them smoking, drug abusing, strip clubbing. But DOTA kept them busy, mengisi masa lapang. They were nowhere close to being corrupted by bad company.

4. If i went to public and said "fuck you" to a stranger, i would've gotten my ass kicked in no time. But in online games, i can curse whoever i want, whenever i want. haha, that was pretty fun. And online games have automatic censor! so any bad words up type will become ****.
That sparked creativity among players! If typing "FUCK" would result in being censored, we could type "F|_|CK"
just and example of the many! In enchances creativity and also typing speed! Everybody need IT skills now. And gaming provided!

5. How i overturned economy? It was an online game called "Risk Your Life". There was this ore that cost $300,000 each. So, me and my 2 frens, having nothing to do, went around and bought all these kind of ores from different ppl. And sold them back for $310,000 each. After we made our cyber fortune, ppl began to do the same, and there were excess ore in the game. And the prices dropped like hell, all the way down to $180,000. We made our fortune, but the rest suffered economic breakdown. SO WHAT? hahahaha. This is just a small lesson towards dominating world economy. hahahaaaa

6. Playing games saved me from running away from home. I've always wanted to surf (Dont ask me why i've always wanted to do like, EVERYTHING). So, playing surfing games saved me the hassle, of robbing a shop, getting money, and running to gold coast and buying a surfboard. Most probably i would have drowned or get eaten by a shark. Billabong and Quicksilver surfing gear dont come cheap too. I would have been heartbroken if the gear got bitten by sharks.

7. Who doens't like Skateboarding? as a boy, (yes, again) I've always wanted to skate. Playing "tony Hawk Pro Skater" made me a skating professional. IF not, i would have robbed a bank, to get skating gear. The, i would have tried a grind on a rail, and fall down, and killed myself by banging my head to the floor. Yes, GAMING SAVED MY YOUTH AND SAVED MY LIFE.

A funny thing

2008-12-19T19:37:00.001+13:00

Was cleaning up my closet (eh, isn't that a song by Eminem?), then i came across an old treasure. A Playstation 2. wow, i still have it. and my parents haven't dumped it into the garbage bin. Happily, continued to dig deeper into the closet and found some old games. Picked out a few that was bought, but never played or finished. Carefully dusted the PS2 and placed it beside TV and plugged it in. And then, hit the power button and loaded in "Kingdom Hearts 2". Wait.... something's not right.... Where in the world are the controllers??? Continued to dig in closet. Controllers are nowhere to be found... Zzzzz.

Excellent Quotes From Great Ppl.

2008-12-16T19:21:00.000+13:00

1. This one comes from my uncle. "That guy is sooo stubborn, so hard headed, that u cant get thru his stone head. U probably need a Bosch Powerdrill to drill his damn thick skull".

2. This one is from a friend. "I sleep in class because it's called mutlitasking. I use my ears to listen to the lecturer, while i get some rest. At the same time, i'm getting attendance as well. Then, i also get free aircond. I oso get to practice multitasking. so next time i can do exams with my eyes closed"

3. Aha, this one is a good one. "Eh, why u stay up until morning studying? No need lar... U see, I sleep at 12, wake up at 12 noon. He sleeps at 4 am, wake up at 4pm. U dun sleep, next time won't wake up u know?"

4. "Since he only eats once a day, so i'll call it brunchtenerper. Breakfast-Lunch-Tea-Dinner-Supper. brunchtenerper. Come, lets go brunchtenerper".

5. "Those ppl are like mosquitoes. They're very annoying. They linger around u, and when u try to slap one, u might end up slapping urself. So u must use Ridsect, and exterminate all of them at one go. Then, u must also go around the whole building, and Ridsect the whole place. We need to strike at their roots!"

6. "Why do u ask questions like that? Textbook dun have, dun have lar.. Textbook dun have, u dunid to know. It wont be tested. Why i'm so ignorant? Because u dun need to know C++ programming to be a doctor. U want me to do what? Make a program that says "Pls choose how long u want to live : 3 months, 6 months, 1 year?"

The Joker's guide to simple daily problems

2008-12-15T23:40:00.000+13:00

1. what do you do when u have a plugged drain, pipe, or sink? simple. you will need 1 stick of dynamite, a fuse, and a match. Stick dynamite into source of problem. connect the fuse to dynamite. then, u must use a thin stick thingy to stuff the dynamite down. retreat to a safe distance and use a bulletproof glass to shield urself from source of problem. light the match and light up the fuse. problem solved.

2. what do you do when u have a car that refuses to start? for this, you will need a fist-sized lump of C4 (plastic explosives), fuse, a credit card (har??). First, cut c4 carefully into four equal pieces with a sharp knife. paste c4 onto the four wheels. connect all c4 with fuse. then retreat to a safe distance and light up fuse. car should go up flying now. nice work.
now, you shud have a cell phone. call the car agent, and tell them u need a new car. u will receive a bill later and u will need to pay using credit card. car choice up to user.

3. what do you do when ur neighbour is being very very noisy? like horribly noisy? for this one, u will need 3 empty 1 litre glass bottles, 2 bottles of vodka or rum. 2 litres of petrol n some old rag. cut rag into 3 pieces. pour mixture of 70% petrol and 30% vodka/rum into empty bottle. (this is just a rough approximation, user may experiment). stuff rag into empty bottle with a little tip touching the mixture, and the rest of the rag hanging outside. repeat 2 more times to make a total of 3 bottles. now, stand on ur side of the fence, hold bottle 45 degrees slant to upright position. light up rag with lighter. throw the bottle to ur neighbours side. repeat 2 more times for different part's of neighbour's house. prepare a hose just in case fire spreads to ur side of home. good luck.

4. wat to do when u have problems with nosy salesman/saleswoman following u around shops and u dont want them to? u will need some very sticky duct tape, some kerosene, old rag, a joss-stick, plastic bag, and a good friend as crazy as I am. first, pour kerosene into plastic bag. then, cut rag into thin piece. dip a tip into the mixture, and leave the rest hanging out the plastic bag. seal plastic bag, but leave one small hole for air. then, u will need 2 cm of joss stick (without wooden part). stick joss stick onto end of rag. stick some duct tape on plastic bag, but dun stick it all, leave a part of the duct tape exposed. have ur friend hold it. go talk to salesman and distract him. ur friend will stick plastic bag to back of salesman, then light joss stick. talk to him until joss stick lights up rag. and rag lights up kerosene. and kerosene lights up salesman. good job!

5. some of ma frens have problem with weirdos. i mean, if law allows, u would blow them up with dynamite. but that's illegal rite? we are good people. must follow rules and law! so i've developed an ingenous solution with inspiration from various movies. first, u need to find some very tasty chocolate candy. then u will need some arsenic. this job is dangerous. so be careful! take chocolate candy and heat them in a pot till they melt. u will need a mould to mould the molten chocolate candy into round shapes. cut into half, and carve a hole in one of halves. pour in arsenic slowly, and take the other half, and cover it up to make a round shape again. heat the candy a little to make the 2 halves stick. now, offer candy to weirdo. he will eat candy. u will have one less weirdo to worry about now. repeat for all weirdos.

Why Not Getting Enough Sleep Can Kill

2008-12-09T03:04:00.000+13:00

1. When u don get nuf sleep, your eyes will shrink. you will have dark patches around your eyes. you will forget to brush your teeth, and you will yawn often. you will look like a zombie, and smell like one too. ppl dun like zombies. ppl will take out their shotguns and blow ur head off, just like in Resident Evil.

2. When u dun get enough sleep, you will not be alert. You will miss a step on the staircase, slip and tumble down the stairs. You will knock your head several times. Then, you will experience excrutiating pain. You will also bleed to death.

3. When u dont get enough sleep, and u happen to live in a tall apartment, you will think that the window is actually a door. you will conviniently step onto the ledge, and jump. You will experience a short thrill before u experience a few microseconds of pure pain. After that, you die.

4. when u dun get enough sleep, you will think that your boss is a monster. and u will call him/her a bitch. then, you will get fired + a slap. then you will feel your life is a total waste. you will drown urself in alcohol, before getting hit by a truck, and bleed to death. again.

5. (male only) when u dun get enough sleep, you will talk nasty to ur wife, and she'll give u a good slapping. u will feel like a useless husband. u will hang urself using a home made hangrope and the ceiling fan.

6. (female only) when u dun get enough sleep, you will talk nasty to ur husband. he'll storm out of the house and hang out with other women, probably. you will take a knife and threaten him. in the wrestle, he will accidentally stab u, and u will (again) bleed to death.

it is proven that not enough sleep will kill. pls get enough sleep.

NO HUMANS WERE HARMED IN THE ABOVE EXPERIMENT

Why Superheroes Are Stupid

2008-12-08T22:50:00.000+13:00

Looks like i'm still in the mood to write about superheroes. Although i enjoy superhero movies and comics, i honestly think they're dumb. well, most of them.

example one: Why is Peter Petrelli taking so long to get Sylar in "heroes". all he needs to do is stop time, and ripp his body into shreds, but he doesnt.

ex 2: Clark Kent(aka Superman) is allergic to Kryptonite, the only thing which can kill him, and it is convieniently found all over smallville, the place where he lives. MOVE OUT, for God's sake...

ex 3: Magneto can manipulate metal. He can move a bridge. Obviously he never thought of moving nuclear bombs.

ex 4: Iron Man is smart enough to make a super advanced invincible suit. But he's not smart enough to hide the battery thing powering his heart. He even makes it shine in bright blue, like a walking target. and oh, it's convieniently easy to remove!

ex 5 : Batman is against using guns. He has miniguns on his car. Machineguns on his bike. But they're not for killing. He's probably never heard of rubber bullets.

and most superheroes wear colourful spandex on the outside!

SICK LEAVE

2008-12-07T01:02:00.000+13:00

this proves i'm not an "Ultimate Human" (TM). well, i'm sick. havent been sick for a loooong time. guess the people up there is trying to slow me down and ask me to take a break from all the games, night outs and of course, pure boredom. the pills i'm taking makes me sleep like a freakin log. all the way from after lunch to dinner time. woot! that's nice. when i wake up the world around me seems to be in a shade of yellow. lolz. well, wish me luck in getting well soon. and if i sound weird over the phone, that;s cuz i lost ma voice. sakit tekak yang amat teruk.

ultimate human part 3

2008-12-02T01:41:00.000+13:00

now, to complete the designs, we need to get some ideas! inspiration!
1. big arms
2. hensem face
3. long mascular legs
4. no cape
5. stylo
6. ray bans

here's the face and body we will get with the genes!

here's the shoes, pants and ray bans we need!

here's the spikes to be mounted on the shoes to allow perfect wall walking! not wall crawling. wall-WALKING!

and the perfect style? lets take usher!

there u have it, every time u beat a criminal, win an argument over ur wife, or outrun a porsche, u can do ur victory dance, the way usher does!

now, we need chicks!

if six isn't enough, we can always fly to play boy mansion!

ultimate human part 2

2008-12-01T19:15:00.000+13:00

now that we have all the genes we need, we need to design our ultimate human costume!

any good artists out there willing to help me sketch the costume i describe below?

first of all, i disagree with capes! if u've seen the movie "the incredibles" you'll know that capes are bad. when flying, the get sucked into aircraft engines. when jumping, they get hooked on sharp objects. u can step on ur own cape and end up landing on ur own head. that's bad. so, no capes! and capes also trick kids into thinking that u can fly with a towel tied to ur back. bad! cause we need dumb kids to buy superhero products as a source of income. killing them wont do any good.

how about a pair of raybans? cyclops looked good with shades. not only is it cool, it also prevents dust from getting into ur eyes when running at light speed. when ur sleeping on the job, no one will notice ur dozing off happily. raybans also allow u to block dangerous rays when flying at high altitudes. although the rest of ur body would probably be cancer prone after long flight hours.

tight fit or loose fit? seems every superhero wears tight fit. superman, spiderman, batman, wat else? how about a full suit of armor like ironman? or green goblin? it's hard to decide. but since our ultimate human is already bulletproof and super agile, how about a black kevlar T-shirt with tight sleeves. it's tearproof and wont get damaged when shot at. the sleeves will highlight the huge biceps.
for da pants, well go with matching black khakis, preferably from calvin klein. can add 2 dangling straps at each side, both for cosmetic purposes and functionality. it bounces around when running, and that looks cool, even better than a cape. u can also hang ur keys, handphone and water bottle.

we'll need gloves as well, how about sauron's full metal gloves? a punch will pretty much take care of any villian.

we dun need a mask, since we already have raybans. and the ultimate human has the super perfect brad pitt, tom cruise, nicholas tse, lee hom look. why hide da face?

shoes? nikes and adidas's seems to be a good choice, but at the pace u will be running, at the heights u will be jumping, they wont last 1 day. we need timberland shoes. the biggest and baddest timberland shoes. it's also good for kicking. next, we'll go to a metal smith and have metal spikes attached to the tapak kasut for better grip. which will allow u to walk on walls. it's cooler than crawling like spiderman.

there u have it. we're all geared up to go!

The Ultimate Human

2008-12-01T04:47:00.000+13:00

to create the ultimate human, we need to gather the ultimate genes.

1. an ultimate human does not need food. he can go on forever with minimal amount of food.
Target = ma fren jian hui. proven effective, does not take meals during exams seasons.

2. an ultimate human does not need sleep. the ultimate human needs as much time as possible to save the world
Target = ma fren kuan chuan. with a bit of yomeshu, and a whole lot of willpower, he rules the night.

3. an ultimate human needs to have a strong defence, to take all the physical and emotional beatings to save the day.
Target = Jason the roomate. with his amazing roundness, he can deflect any bullet.

4. next up, the ultimate human needs to have an amazing power of interogation, like batman.
Target = Mr Ng Jeng Pang. With his amazing mouth, he can silent the entire room with his radioactive mouth.

5. amazing humans need agility, to evade various attacks.
Target = Me, John. With his monkeylike ability to bend and jump about, makes it possible to dodge bullets, and also sleep in tight locations.

6. wat about the perfect speed? a horse can run pretty fast.
Target = Ong sang geng. with his horselike face.... i mean speed, u can outrun anybody.

7. we need brute force! and with brains also.
Target = Leslie, with his amazing brutalness when he swims, and also a mind full of creativity, it's brutalness put to good use.

8. wat else do we need? Ya, we need CHICKS!
Target = Fan Di. he's a very good fisherman, and that make's us fisherman's frens.
so, no prob with chicks nemore.

9. for good looks? with all the genes above, it's gonna be just perfect!

A many Crazy Things in COllege!!

2008-11-30T21:31:00.000+13:00

1. the first day i moved into Cendana, the bathroom was flooded. after several complaints, and a great many visits by the workers, the problem seems to be still there. then came wong, my ex roomate. with his bathroom slipper on, he used them like a "pelocok" and pumped the drain hole like mad. then there was a "plop" sound and the water started to drain. WOOT!

2. then there was Dawood. where we occasionally forget to tell the cashier we ate telur mata. either it's intentional or not, it's free!

3. dota madness? non-stop gaming from 9 pm till 6 am. and going to the ktm at 10 am.

4. not nuf? how bout basketball game at 12am?

5. the move to cemara! when we 1st arrived, there were four pillows sitting on ma designated bed. very very dirty. i had no idea they were part of "cemara property". so one by one they went down the garbage chute. and i had fun forcing each of them into the chute.

6. lost or locked ur keys inside ur locker? no problem. ah tiong called me. i pried it open with a screwdriver. then one day i locked my own keys in ma locker. this time i pried it open with ma bare hands. to intec: it's time to get new lockers.

7. locked ur keys inside ur room? no problem. it was on ng's birthday, when kuan chuan's room was locked and had no way to get inside. 1, 2, 3! kick! go to room 6/410 to observe the damages. it was very satisfying too. next time u have anything u want to break, ring me up!

8.. coming soon, any stories u want me to tell? cause i might have forgotten some!

10 Great Things At Genting

2008-11-29T18:00:00.000+13:00

Pls notice that no humans were harmed in this post

1. Mr Leslie was apparently trying to climb n sit on a railing. then, "slip"... gedebom. sam was there to be cushion, so all is well. just a little bruise.

2. Mr John was jumping over a rail, knowing well he was wearing tight fit jeans. got stuck, and nearly risked his precious skull. reflex and nike shoes with good grip saved him from forgetting half of his frens' names.

3. Mr and Mrs Ong, together with Mr and Mrs Chung rode a fenris wheel, while the rest watched. and watched, and watched. then Mr John said "hey, it's an awfully long ride leh". Mr Ng "no lah, shud be done in a while". and they watched, and watched summore. no more fenris wheel pls.

4. since the couples shared a room, the rest ( total of 7 ) had to cram into one rum, with 2 beds. and we are not small ppl also. mr tan kuan chuan seems to like hugging me when sleeping. and mr Ng was suffering sleeping between the abundant Sam and old man Leslie.

5. i cant say wats the best ride, but i know the most painful one. the flying dragon. pls, the next time you go, sit as close to the middle in the seat as possible, and keep ur limbs away from the sides. everybody had a good time being banged to the sides. not to forget some bruises also. apparently i was sitting next to the left of abundant sam, and when the damn coaster jerked left, "john pancake" - end of story.

6. come, lets go to the arcade! apparently there is this basketball game machine. jason was messing round with the machine, then guess wat?? Free Games, free prize ticket! me and him was shooting hoops like mad, getting as many tickets as possible, while keeping a low profile. that, with da rest of tickets we got "legally" summed up to a pitiful 857 ticket counts.

7. since there was nothing we wanted from the prize counter, we gave it away to a kid. How nice is that???

8. midnite breeze - afta a visit to da club, it was nearly 3. the wives went back to their room, while the guys decided to go 4 a walk. it was freaking cold... and freaking windy. we got a good backstage look at genting. and discussed on how we were gonna run it after buying it. pretty anbitious eh?

9. cable cars, who doesnt love those?? the way up was totally fine. the way down was a bit odd. just as we were approaching the bottom station, it stopped, and went back the other way. then it stopped. the process repeated. luckily it managed to crawl it's way down. we had a good time cursing and laughin in da cable car too.

10. raining... - G.R.E.AT......

still empty - will post photos, when i get sum

2008-11-29T17:59:00.001+13:00

back home

2008-11-29T17:49:00.000+13:00

just arrived home at night yesterday, and feeling quite good about it. everything still hasnt changed much here. that's when i feel like i've changed a lot. when ur busy busy, the world around seems to move fast, and u can't keep up with it, even with my "the flash" shirt on.

but when it's all laid back here, things are very much calm. and it feels great.

there ya go, the very first post!